Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Day 200: Creature Of Habit
I have been realizing that I have some habit issues. Not the smoking and drinking kind, but the kind where I do the exact same things, in the exact same way, at the exact same time every day. It is most apparent on work days as I roll out of bed (literally) and follow the same steps each and every day. There may be some wavering to my schedule, but overall I am a creature of habit.
I set my clothes out the night before. I take my vitamin, low dose aspirin and glucosamine in the same way, taking out the bottles and putting them back in the cabinet the exact same way. I fix my PB&J sandwich the same way every morning. I pack my lunch the same way. I get ready the same way. Etc. Etc. Etc. I've just been realizing lately that my habits extend further than my daily routines.
My habits extend to the way I treat my family, the way I react to issues, the way I interact with other people. Everything is a habit for me. I am basically the same, plain fella every day and only my surroundings change. Not that I want to lead a James Bond kind of life or anything, but I am too comfortable with my life as it is. My comfort zone is very narrow and I stay within that zone 99% of the time.
I am praying that God uses me for something that will allow me to break free of my zone. I need a big ol' push through a door to plop me right down in a God designed area that He can use me in. Don't get me wrong, I am not in "need" in order to feel any certain way or that I feel unused, but that I know I am not doing as I should. I am praying for a breakthrough where I know God has placed me in something and it doesn't have to be in a primary role. A sub role is fine with me, but then again, that is the role I normally take. So, I should probably be ready to be thrust in a more prominent role.
I am also fine if God doesn't use me, but I need to make myself available. For what? I have no idea, but when God is behind it I am fairly certain that I will be able to tell. He has a way of letting one know that He is active. I just want to serve my Lord in the manner He needs me to, whatever capacity that is. I get nervous thinking about what He might have me to do, but I just look back at Moses and his anxieties about being used of God and see how God worked through Him.
Being available is the biggest part of our struggle. So, I am set at defeating that great first obstacle. But once again my strength comes from the Lord and I will be leaning on Him for strength and guidance in whatever role He gives me.