Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Day 47: Thanks For The Memories
Just happened to see these in the closet this evening. Talk about memories. Well, if I had any memory skills, that is. But flipping through the pages some things did come back to me.
The biggest thing was that this was my freshman year of high school, the year that I discovered a whole lot of sinnin' and a whole lot of permin'. Just check out the picture of me that graces the pages of the yearbook. Wow! What was I thinking?
The summer before this school year started is the year that I went to church camp and was introduced to a guy that in turn was nice enough to introduce me to Ozzy Osborne, Black Sabbath, Rainbow, Rush as well as Jack and Jim and their close friend Mary Jane. My life changed drastically that year. All of the sins I was indulging in were okay though, as I was taught, because I had said the prayer and took care of it. I was just told that I would lose some rewards in heaven, but I would be going there for sure because I gave my heart to Jesus. Truth is I was discovering just how wicked my heart was, but I wasn't worried about it in the least.
I was 14 years old, starting a 24 year smoking habit, drinking every weekend, traveling to rock concerts and even driving home from one at 14 years old. I had no worries at all, life was good. I was living a me centered life and discovering sins daily. I did think about God though, every night when I went to bed I would pray for forgiveness for what I had done that day, except the nights I passed out first.
This type of life carried on for a lot of years, with the same mind set, the same habits and a plethora of new friends and ways to sin. Not until I was 38 did God take the scales from my eyes and show me just how evil I was. That is when I realized that the life I was living was a sham and I was lost and needed a Savior.
Looking back, even when I thought I was a Christian, I can see how God was guiding me and allowing certain things to happen, certain paths to be walked down and a lot of things I lived are now opportunities for me to share just what the Lord did in me and to me. What an awesome God! He directed my path even when I was in open rebellion, because He loved me. Definitely not because I deserved it, because all I deserved was hell, but He still had mercy on me. I will never get over that and I hope that I can share it with many people before He brings me home.